Pittwater Patter: Sunday Bloody Sunday…

Pittwater Patter is a place for short, light-hearted stories about our daily lives in Pittwater.

In this, the first of a four part series, one resident explores the joys, and otherwise, of offshore living.

p.s. The writer wishes to remain anonymous and will simply be known as M.

Sunday Bloody Sunday – Part 1

It’s Sunday in Pittwater – the biblical day of rest.  Fresh autumn winds herald languid coastal rains, a subtle chill in the air and the promise of briefer halcyon days. 

Hmm, so you’d have to be about as slow as a politician making a decision on climate change to believe that pile of bush turkey leaf litter.  Just in case you’ve only recently arrived offshore, let me be the first to burst your “living the dream in Pittwater” bubble.

The name should give it away – Pittwater.  Not exactly Golden Sands is it? 

Forgetting the obvious connotations of Pitt – (as in the pits, rut, abyss, chasm, ditch, cavity…armpit)  even the glorious emerald Waters of Pittwater are not all they seem.

Needless to say, if you haven’t already twigged, living offshore is not all ‘beer and skittles’. (And if you have to look that saying up, you obviously don’t live here.)

In reality, it would be an astonishing leap of faith for someone, to procure a slice of not-so-cheap-anymore offshore Pittwater real estate and believe it would transform their life into ‘Avalon Now’ (if your YouTube education is deficient you may have to look it up.)

 At some stage you’ll inevitably be approached by bushwalkers on their way to the waterfall who wide-eyed and nature-struck, will marvel at the place and tell you how ‘how lucky you are” and “how beautiful” it is.  Which of course is true, but falls grossly short of conveying the full magnitude of the untimely, awkward, inconvenient, embarrassing, unbefrikkinglievable shite that happens almost daily offshore.

M. 

to be continued.

Share News